Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Communication error

Well that was an eventful night last night. Just after I'd finished blogging and trying to block out the paine eI text my Mum for help but 29 minuetes later she had still not come to my rescue so I rang her mobile but it went straight through to voicemail, hence the lack of response to my texts- blooming signal! I thought about ringing the house phone but there is something really taboo about ringing a house phone in the middle of the night, unless you know someone that's in labour but generally if the phone rings in the night I know my first thoughts are "who's died?" That or someone in an Indian call centre has seriously misjudged the time difference. So I let it ring twice to try and give a warning signal but still nothing and the pain was just getting worse. I tried to stand up but I just didn't  have the strength. So I somehow got myself out of bed and on to the floor, bending my legs and tensing the muscles was sickening. Once on the floor I tried to open my door by trying to pull on dressing gown but that didn't work so I had to try and stretch to open the door then try to shift the door and myself, which was not too much of a hassle on the laminated flooring but was a nightmare on the carpet the more I had to tense my legs to try and move but it was just torture. I burst out crying because the pain was overwhelming, I cried because I needed a wee, I cried because once again I was needing help in the middle of the night and had now woke everyone up. Then I cried some more at how on earth I was going to get up, I just didn't gave a clue what to do with my legs and then I cried at how much it hurt to do so.

It will be interesting to see why I have lost control of my legs? My GP thinks it might be fibromyalgia, which he explained was sometimes considered in the same bracket as M.E. I need to do some more research into it. Do you need to have M.E to have fibromyalgia? Or is what I am experiencing yet another symptom of the M.E? My GP has referred me to see a rheumatologist, so it will be interesting to see what he says? Or what tests I will have to go through. To be honest I am not getting my hopes up too much, because as we know the reasons for M.E etc cannot be explained by modern medicine at this stage in time but I will do everything that I can to help myself and I'm positive there will be something that will supplement my hot water bottle and laughter therapy.

Tonight I am a bit more prepared. I have massaged away some niggles in my thighs and armed with painkillers. I even have a commode by my bed, just in case. Now I do adore vintage but I think the chamber pot is perhaps a step too far but needs must. It is afterall better than doing any more damage. Definitely not the nicest of things though. I have also enjoyed a second trip out in the chair to meet a friend in Costa Coffee and she wasn't all that bad of a driver. It was rather funny though as she works in a nursery and still had her uniform on so she was pushing me around like the oldest child in town that had been left at the nursery 20 years ago. It was lovely to do normal things and also for my Mum and Dad to go enjoy a lovely meal and share some quality time that isn't household related. We've all got to keep our sanity with this and look after each other.

So let's see how tonight goes now.

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