Spoonie Christmas Gift Guide

Hi everyone!

I did a similar post to this last year and actually a lot of people found it really useful. When opening some of my gifts I could clearly see they had paid attention. Some even said thanks for the ideas. So bring on a post where I shall be dropping some very big hints haha (ahem Pasha Kovalev please!). I did contemplate whether or not to create a gift guide again for this year but seen as I seem to have mistakingly deleted last years post that pushed me into deciding that I would create another for this year. Plus many of the items on last years might not have been available anymore. Having said that I want to point out that these are all just gift ideas, and the photos and links are mainly for reference. Click the title next to each number to be directed to the item. So for example if you see an eye mask or pair of pyjamas that you feel are more suited to the person you are buying for then of course opt for those ones. But hopefully this gift guide will help you to purchase a lovely gift that will mean a lot to the spoonie in your life and give you an idea what to look for. 

* A Spoonie is a nickname of sorts for someone that suffers from a chronic illness. In reference to Christine Miserandino's Spoon theory.

* All photos are taken from the websites referenced

Spoonie Essentials

1. Kindle Perfect if they enjoy reading but struggle to manage books. Kindles are lightweight and the touch screen ones make them even easier to use.

2. Kindle Fire  All the joy of a kindle but with more apps and internet access. As well as letting you watch films. Great all in one. If you want one lightweight device for multiple purposes.

3.  Mug All female spoonies are wonder women. But any mug with a great saying or cute design that matches their personality or interests is a great gift and helps bring a little smile to their day.

4. lunch boxes Great for keeping snacks in their room so they'e easily accessible and fresh. 

5.  Electric Heat pad Perfect for keeping warm and helping ease pain. Without the hassle of having to refill a hot water bottle. Plus you can lie on this to help soothe back pain. As well as adjust the heat setting. You can read my post on my Dreamland heat pad here.

6.  Starbucks Cocoa Duo As we can't always get out, being able to have our favourite hot drinks at home is a simple pleasure.

7. Book of Mindfulness Mindfulness can be a great technique in helping promote calm and acceptance. It can really help you cope with stress.

8. Eye Mask Great for light sensitivity and helping to get promote sleep. A mask with a funny message on it, is a fun touch too. Opt for one with a better strap, the ones with elastic that look like a hair bobble can be uncomfortable and cause pain.

9. Snack box Snacks are always handy, especially if we are unable to use the kitchen. This one is a vegan one but there are many to choose from, from retro sweets to gluten free. And these boxes are great for introducing us to new snack ideas. 

10. Hot water bottle As great as heat pads are sometimes you still need a hot water bottle too. Especially if you're on the move. 

11. This Works dream team set or bigger version here A lavendar spray and roll on are great for helping to promote calm and sleep. As well as help headaches. The mini ones are perfect for travelling too.

12. Colouring Book Colouring books are the latest trend in mindfulnes and calming techniques. There are a a whole range at The Works from animals to Game of Thrones and some come as a set with pens, find them here

1. Notebooks Whether we need to write down our symptoms or remind ourselves to do something notebooks are very useful. Especially if they're a blogger too.

2. Diary To help organize and remember all the appointments etc. Brain fog can't be trusted.

3. Line a day diary This kind of diary can really help you see how far you have come over the years.

4. Twinings tea set If they are a tea fan getting them a selection of their favourites is a lovely treat.

5. Big bag Whenever we leave the house we usually need to take a lot with us so a big bag is a must. 

6. Spoons Because spoons are always needed. Especially if there's dessert.

7. Wheat wrap Again in addition to a heat pad, these microwaveable wraps are great for neck pain or for lying on. And their lavendar smell can help relaxation too.

8. Lap tray Great for using your laptop in bed or even eating your meals in bed without burning your legs. Or making a mess!

Pampering gifts

Everyone deserves a good pamper, especially when you feel rubbish. Again think about their capabilities, if they can have a bath or a shower. Also think about their skin type. A lot of spoonie's will get dry skin stuck indoors a lot or have sensitive skin so select products with this in mind. 

1.  Soap and Glory Belle of the Ball set

2.  Burts Bees Kit

3. Simple gift of kindness mini gift set

4.  Zoella Beauty Cosy Toesy set Plus you get a cosy pair of socks. A spoonie must.

5.  Aromatherapy Associates gift set

6.  Bath Salts

7. Palmers Gift Set

8.  Burts Bees Tips and Toes set

Crafty gifts

If the spoonie in your life enjoys getting their craft on or would like to take up a new hobby, then here's some kits to help them create some masterpieces.

1. Jewellery making set

2. Wrap bracelet set

3. Kirstie Allsopp button jewellery kit

4. Message in a bottle necklace kit

5. Coin purse kit

6. Felt penguin sewing kit

7.  Owl family knitting kit

8. Modern quote cross stitch kit

Alternatively if you enjoy crafts then making them a personalised gift, made especially for them is really meaningful.

Nightwear

For people that spend a lot of time in bed or resting you can't go far wrong with nightwear.

1. Pyjama set

2. Slogan pyjama top

3.  Cath Kidston Christmas pyjama top

4. Dressing Gown

5. Cuffed pyjama bottoms

6. Slippers

7. Take a nap bedding

8. Cosy Blanket

Vouchers

Sometimes vouchers really are the best way to go. Especially if you are unsure what they would like or need. Obviously the type of voucher can depend on whether they are housebound etc. Not much use in a spa voucher if they can't leave the house at all. Here's some suggestions:

Amazon, Kindle and Audible

Itunes

Netflix

Magazine Subscriptions

Snack boxes

 Graze

 Costa

Restaurant vouchers

Beauty boxes

 My Little Box

 Birchbox

Feel Unique

Boots

Especially for Spoonies

I also wanted to point you in the direction of two fantastic small businesses that are ran by two chronically ill friends of mine, that specialise in great gifts for spoonies or in fact any one in need of some tlc and a pick me up. But you also have the added perk of supporting small businesses and gifts that are more personal and meaningful.

 Spoonie Survival Kits

Each kit contains items to make the recipient smile and cope a little easier with the onslaught of chronic illness. Proceeds also go towards ME charities. 

Bear Hugs Gifts

There are several different 'hugs' to receive from colouring to a movie night theme. So you can tailor your hug to the recipient.

Or you can make up your own personalised hampers full of their favourite things or on a specific theme. Below I've shown some ideas from Pinterest:

Source: Pinterest

Source: Pintetest

Wantfeed

Alternatively you can always set up a wantfeed account, which is an online wish list where you can list all the things you want from hundreds of different stores. That way people know what you would really want. You can even make money if someone buys that item by clicking buy and using the unique link. You can make separate lists for different ocassions like birthdays or Christmas. Set up a wanfeed here. You can see my wantfeed on the following link http://wantfeed.com/Queenie/wants

Finally I just want to make a quick note about wrapping your gifts. Take into consideration that some spoonies will struggle to open gifts. Whether they have painful hands or wrists or simply don't have the strength or energy. So consider using a gift box or bag. Or if you do wrap go easy on the cellotape, or use cheaper paper that's thinner and easier to rip. 

I hope this post has been useful and that it's given you some gift ideas. Spoonies be sure to share this post if you want to give friends and family some hints. 

Sian 

Coping with The Festive Season with depression

 

I recently posted some tips for managing the festive season with a chronic illness, focusing more on physical illness. However as I am a big advocate for supporting mental health issues and making sure it's talked about I wanted to offer some advice for anyone who is suffering with their mental health. Because it really is a time that people can feel an increase in their symptoms.

 

All you see and hear is 'tis the season to be jolly' when you feel far from it. And unfortunately no matter how many times some people will tell you, you cannot just snap out of it.

 

Feeling depressed or anxious but not been formally diagnosed- you've finished work for Christmas and it's been stressful trying to get all your deadlines met on time as well as organizing everything that comes along with Christmas and all of a sudden it all catches up with you. Feeling overwhelmed, stressed and stretched out can lead to feelings of depression or anxiety. Listen to what your body is telling you and your head. Will these feelings pass? Have you actually been masking feelings of sadness for a long time? Or do you feel totally overwhelmed and want to cry all day long? Take a step back evaluate and if you feel you need to, make that decision to get help. That step is the first and most important one.

 

Know where to get help- if you are all ready recieving care or counselling etc then Christmas can mean a break in the continuity of progress. Ask your gp or counsellor what is available if you need that extra support during out of hours times. Just having that information as a back up can be reassuring. They will be able to advise you of any local services or helplines available to you. Or you should be able to pick up a leaflet at your doctors surgery. MIND have a infoline 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 or email info@mind.org.uk. And there is the Samaritans too, contact them on 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org

I have also left links at the end of this post to websites where you can get more information if you think you may be suffering from depression. You can find lots of advice and support on there.

 

Untangle your thoughts- if you are struggling to find a reason as to why you feel so down or even if you have a clear idea why, all these thoughts can become tangled and overwhelming. Leaving you feeling numb. I find a good way to unlock some of the issues that are troubling me is to write down whatever is going through my head at that time. It doesn't have to be ordered or linear. But writing can allow your thoughts to become clearer. Outpouring all your thoughts and feelings onto paper so that they become something you can physically see. It can often feel like a big release too.

 

 

Talk- It's really hard to want to talk when you feel so bad. Or even just finding the words to describe all that's going on in your head. But find someone you trust and love to talk to. Someone who will just LISTEN even if what you're saying doesn't make sense.

 

Do not belittle those feelings or thoughts- you may feel like what you are feeling is not worthy or you don't feel you have the right to feel sad. But depression is not necessarily logical in that way. A story that always resonates with me is that of Olympic gold medal winning cyclist Victoria Pemberton and how she self harmed after winning her gold medal. So even people at their peak can be in a whole world of pain inside their heads.

 

Try not to beat yourself up- okay this is particularly hard when you feel so awful but putting extra pressure on yourself is only going to cause more anxiety. Accept that you will do what you can and go at your own pace. Chances are you are the one putting the most pressure on yourself.

 

Cry- it's okay not to be okay. Cry when you need to. It's the best release. And again DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER IT!

 

Know you're not alone- Although you feel totally alone and in a world of your own. One in four people suffer with their mental health. And that is people of all ages. But just know that regardless of your situation, even if you are a social butterfly you can feel lonely. It's not about being alone it's that feeling of emptyness. I know that doesn't help much but knowing that there is a reason behind what you're feeling and it's not just you. Physically be in the company of people you know as much as you feel you can. People that will understand. The more you can be in some company the easier it will get.

 

Get help where possible- cooking, shopping etc. The more you can share the load the less pressure is on your shoulders.

 

Shop online- Christmas means busy shops. If you are struggling with social anxiety shopping can be particularly difficult. I remember how hard it was to set foot in supermarkets as I used to feel so trapped. So take away those stresses with internet shopping. You're in an environment where you feel safe and because you're not thinking as much about what your head is saying you have more concentration.

 

Keep your plans simple- feeling stressed and as though you need to be everywhere and everything all at once, will only overwhelm you even more. Keep your plans simple and manageable. You need to be a little selfish and prioritize your own needs and give yourself time to heel. Just because your condition is not visible does not mean it's any less real. If you don't feel up to cooking a complete Christmas dinner nor can you handle being around extended family, consider going out for your Christmas dinner. Treat yourself as well as getting rid of some of the pressure. Evaluate what Christmas means to you and identify simple ways to achieve this. If you are seeing a counsellor or your doctor talk through ways to cut out stressful situations surrounding Christmas.

 

Stay away from social media- seeing what everyone else is up to (bragging about) while you feel so bad will only make you feel worse. So edit how much you go onto social media. If you want to talk to friends/ family do so via phone/text.

 

Write lists- when your mind is all jumbled and yet you still have so much to organize write it all down. Also ticking it off as you do them will also make you feel like you have achieved something.

If at anytime you feel overwhelmed or things get too stressful, whether that be anxiety or others having a Christmas squabble, take yourself off somewhere quiet and regain your composure. Do some breathing excercises. Listen to guided meditation or soothing music. Or put in your headphones and switch off the world for a little while; until you feel okay enough to rejoin. 

 

Watch comedies/ lighthearted programmes- and avoid the sop if you are feeling broken hearted- avoid soaps and the news with their tear jerker headlines. These things can also be hard to follow if your head is feeling over the place. Put on your favourite comedian or funny film and even if you can't laugh just know that you have made a good effort to make yourself feel better.

 

Craft/ Make handmade gifts- Or decorations. Doing craft activities in general can be a good distraction technique and focuses your thoughts rather than have then wander and run amock. For people you want to thank for helping you to cope a handmade gift can mean a lot to both of you. One, because you have made something unique and personal to that personal and two because it will make you feel as though you have done something worthwhile. Sometimes spreading a bit of happiness will bring you some happiness too.

 

Get yourself a gift- go on! You really do deserve it!

 

Pamper yourself- Sometimes just making an effort with our appearance can have a positive effect on our emotions. And again it's about making an effort. So run yourself a bath. Put on a face mask. Experiment with some make up.

 

Wear a nice outfif- for the same reason as above.

 

For everything you do achieve give yourself a pat on the back- don't focus on what you haven't done but what you have.

 

 

To friends and family

 

 

Patience is a virtue- they are not going to snap themselves out of it and at times they may snap or get angry. All you can do is be there. I know it will be frustrating. At any stage they will need you but they will only come to you or say they need your help in their own time.

 

Know that it's not personal

 

Just be there- you will feel at a loss for what to do or what to say but the best thing you can do is be there when they need you. LISTEN. Don't judge or dismiss their feelings. Know that it will have taken a lot for them to open up.

 

Do some research- If you think (or know) that a friend or family member is struggling and you want to help them there is plenty of information available online. I have included some links at the end of this post. Or again you should be able to pick up information from your doctors surgery.

Throughout January I am going to be posting about mental health issues regularly. If there is any issues or areas of mental health you would like to see a post about then please leave a comment.

 

Please visit the following links for additional information and help.

 

Www.mind.org.uk

 

infoline 0300 123 3393

or text 86463

or email info@mind.org.uk

For their Christmas opening times visit www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

 

Www.samaritans.org

contact them on 08457 90 90 90

or email jo@samaritans.org

 

Www.time-to-change.org.uk

 

Sian x

Christmas and New Years for a spoonie

 

Christmas and New Years can be difficult times for spoonies. The whole holiday is packed full of messages to have fun and celebrate. To enjoy and be happy. And it's not that we are not happy. I've even said many a time that I'm wierdly the happiest I might have ever been. It's more that the increase in activity that will inevitabley happen around these times brings with it a whole heap of moments where you're reminded of the things you can't do or have difficulty doing. All in the space of a short time. And being constantly reminded like that can feel like we're being taunted.

 

Lying in bed because you're too ill to be downstairs and hearing everyone else as they eat Christmas dinner is strange and can make you feel left out and lonely. Or even if you cannot sit around the table as you need to have your legs up, is isolating. Not being able to open your presents by yourself or hand presents out, cut up your dinner or pull a cracker reminds you how weak you are. So you get the hint. Lots of little things all at once that can add up to a bigger overall feeling of well pantsness.

 

Then there's New Years where it's kind of expected you go out and party, make new years resolutions and hear all about how rubbish peoples years have been and how 'next year is going to my year.'

So how can you help yourself during these times? To keep your head above water and not feel utterly miserable.

 

Evaluate- Think what Christmas means to you. The nice things that is. What is it you want Christmas to be? Does it have to be a big dinner with all the trimmings? Do you need to leave the house? Do you need to play hostess?

 

Prioritize- All of us have to prioritize or 'juggle' over Christmas. You try and please everyone but don't want to show favouritism. But what's important is once you have evaluated what Christmas means to you that you make choices made on that decision. That may mean only spending a short time with family or only being able to go to one celebration/ dinner/ gathering/ do/ knees up. If you answered that Christmas for you is all about seeing your child(ren) excited on Christmas morning, then make that your priority. Sure you may need to negotiate in some areas but when you do bear this next pointer in mind.

 

Be realistic- know what you can manage. If you can't cook a full on Christmas dinner but aren't going elsewhere then ask yourself 'does it really matter?' If you have spent your spoons getting up to watch your kids open their presents who says you can't have a picnic in bed with them come dinner time. And be realistic with your family so that they know how much you can honestly handle. Your friends Christmas Eve, your family Christmas day, his family boxing day, just isn't going to work. Especially if you have New Years plans too.

 

Pace- I'm sure I don't need to explain this one. How many times do we hear it?Little by little. A bit at a time. Don't spend all your spoons in one go (unless you want to.)

Share your plans- tell people what you think you'll be able to manage. That way they can help you to achieve that. And they also know that you achieved what you set out to achieve and don't feel too bad for you.

 

Don't be down on yourself- like I said the increase in activity over Christmas and New Years can really mean being reminded more often of things we can't do or are missing out on. But remember THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You will achieve what you achieve on those days. To others it might sound very little but do not judge yourself by others standards. And what you do achieve will mean more. Again remember your evaluations.

 

Ask for help- If you need help you can only ask. Family to help take you shopping. Going elsewhere for dinner. 

 

 

If you can, and want to dress up or put on make up- if you have enough energy to spare then looking good on the outside can help you feel better emotionally. Plus, we don't really get many ocassions to wear our best clothes  or just clothes that are not pyjamas. So if you have the spoons go for it. If not then save those spoons for festive cheer  and sod it if that means wearing pj's it means wearing pj's.

 

Check in with your spoonie friends- chances are you won't be the only one stuck in bed. And whereas most of your healthy friends will not be on their phones much your spoonie pals just might be. So wish them a Merry Christmas and have a little chat. It's a definite way of not feeling so lonely if you're feeling like you're missing out.

 

Random Acts of Kindness/ Give to charity- At this time of year when it's easy to get carried away in the commercialism of Christmas it's good to remember that Christmas is a time for giving. Sadly there are many people that are worse off than us. So if you can think what you can give to someone. It might be a donation to charity in the form of a donation or a gift. Or buying an extra advent calendar and some extra food to give to a food bank. Helping out where you can at community Christmas dinner schemes set up so people don't have to spend Christmas alone. Donating any unwanted clothes, toiletries or toys to a homeless shelter. Going to have a cup of tea and a chat with someone in your community you know is struggling. Or it could be as simple as sending a letter to someone. Spread some cheer.

 

Enjoy it- whatever you end up doing over the holidays enjoy it. Yes that might be hard if you're really bad. But when you can join in relish it. When you give out your gifts take time to look at their reaction. Enjoy tucking into some yummy food. Laugh. Love. Eat. 

 

Make resolutions you can keep- most resolutions are cursed from the get go because they simply aren't realistic. "This year is going to be my year," is always one that makes me cringe. And we can have all the will in the world but we can't always have total control over our lives. Otherwise I'd be healthy and lying next to Pasha Kovalev right now. All we can do is try and I think trying is a good resolution in itself. To adopt an I know I can't control everything but I can control my reactions and try to be happier/ more appreciative/ more body confident (insert your aim here). Having a chronic illness I know that some things are beyond my control. And I can't tell myself "next year will be better" but I can say I'm going to do my best and will take things as they come. That I will try to be happy despite the illness, because that I can have some control over. (Please note for anyone with depression/ anxiety that I know happiness isn't as simple as making a choice. That it can actually be hard work. Really hard work. And time.) 

 

Memories jar- one way of trying to be happier overall and one that has really worked for me this year is to make a memories jar. You can read my post on it here and I will soon have a review post up. Ah that sounds scary! Seriously where has this year gone? Basically the memories jar is a jar that you put notes in and on the notes you write down anything good that happened or something funny somebody says etc. Big or small. Then at the end of the year you can open up the jar and read all the lovely things that happened throughout the year. I think it's particularly good if you don't have any plans for New Year. I don't know about anyone else but I always feel a bit funny on New Years, like you need to be making a big deal that it's the end of the year and the start of a new one. So I think this is a good and positive way to reflect and look forward to more happiness in the year to come.

 

I hope these tips help you through the festive period and that you are able to have some joyful times. Do take a look at last years post with more tips too What are your plans? Do you have any more tips for coping over the holidays? 

Sian x

Post Christmas Exertional Malaise

Owww. Ouch! Bleepy bleep bleep bleep. Yes that is how good I felt yeterday. And all because I dared to celebrate Christmas. How dare I try and be normal. Christmas Day wasn't too bad I spent the majority of Christmas day in bed resting and then came downstairs for a couple of hours in the evening. It was strange though excluding myself from dinner (even though I cannot tolerate it) but it's difficult to not listen to that voice that says that you should be joining in the festivities and that you are being completely unsociable. But it was the right thing to do, to help myself recover from Christmas Eve. Boxing day my symptoms were more prevelant, aching and fatigue. I managed to have a bath with help in the afternoon, trying to make the most of being able to get to the bathroom and not wanting to smell of course. I rested again afterwards in the hope of getting downstairs again that evening. Remember my basic target is to get downsairs everyday. I managed to get to the top of the stairs and went to shout down for help to get down, but that just ended up as a "help, me stand up and get back to bed." I was in too much pain and exhausted to manage it. It made me quite dissapointed as I was bored lying in bed and wanted some company but in the grander scheme of things that's the first time in a long time that I've not managed to get downstairs at least once a day. And I had a pretty good reason for not being able to. So I wasn't too down on myself.

Boxing day night the wind was terrible, but luckily I was so shattered that I managed to sleep well. I think though that listening to the wind made me huddle up more in bed so trying to get up yesterday morning was just agony and I couldn't do it without help. Damn bladder again, I would have stayed where I was if I hadn't needed to pee. I'm sure my Mum appreciated the 5am text for help too.

Yesterday (27th) was probably the worst suffering wise, all my muscles ached and my pain killers weren't having much of an effect. I thought though that if I could try and move around a bit it may help to loosen up the muscles and distract me somewhat. Luckily I managed to bum shuffle downstairs and plonk myself in front of the television for the afternoon. Woo back to back Cake Boss and the Downton Christmas special! This made the suffering more bareable but I was still clock watching for my next lot of pain killers.

One thing that did really help me through the post Christmas suffering though was the support of other ME suffers on Twitter. We all knew that we weren't the only ones in pain and could help each other through. I have 'met' some lovely peole on there, one even sent me a handmade personalised bracelet as a Christmas present. It's good to be able to reachout to people that know exactly what you're going through and can help you to see some brightness. It's also lovely to be able to offer support to others and feel part of a community, which is difficult when you can't socialise often. It's difficult to cope with the feeling of being punished for just trying to be 'normal.'

So enough of the rubbish and let me focus on the good. Because it's really important to find something bright in each day even though on the whole the outlook is bleak. Well actually Christmas Eve was filled with lovely moments and I was able to do as I planned (see my post It's beginning to look a look a lot like Christmas).

The day started earlier than planned as my nephews came round earlier  so I lost a couple of hours rest. But I hate not being 'present' when my nephews are here. It's easy to get into the mindset though of 'I'm just sitting.' They came round early as they were full of cold and then of course in the spirit of Christmas generousity kindly gave me a cough. I love them really. Then everyone else kind of arrived at once. I met my cousin(ish)/Polish Goddess's new boyfriend (Hi Jon!) and cue giggles and some very in depth conversations about ME and mental illnesses. And how horrified we were about the sign language interpretter at Nelson Mandela's funeral being mocked. That man has reached the most prestigous height in his career to have been given the duty of such an event despite all of his demons of such a misunderstood illness. He was left on his own whereas they should work in teams infront of the worlds media and some of the worlds most powerful people yet he fought to get through, he couldn't very well leave the stage. How many people when faced with trauma and distress could keep calm? Schizophrenia does not make someone a violent person. If he had suffered something physical on that stage he would have had sympathy but instead he was mocked. Okay, sorry for going waaaay of topic. It's just something that really riled me. It annoys me that mental illnesses have such bad reputations. Most people that are diagnosed with a mental illness just want to be able to live normal lives and are scared not be labelled.

Anyhow back on topic, perhaps that's where I used up much of my energy. I managed to help myself to some food and feed myself so that was a plus. Most of the evening I was sat with my feet up. At one stage everyone else was in the kitchen and I was the only one in the living room, which felt a bit odd. By the time we got round to giving out presents I was really beginning to flag. I couldn't hand my gifts out and was just sat like the Queen of Sheeba as people came to me bearing gifts. I wished I'd have looked that good and not a baggy eyed zombie moulded to the sofa. I couldn't even open my own presents so my Mum had to open most of them for me. Her trying not to open them and peaking what it was before I got to see. I got one present in a gift bag which I thought I could hopefully manage but someone was a bit over zealous with the selotape and the gifts inside were all wrapped. So tip number one for giving gifts to people with chronic illness or pain; use a gift bag and not seal it shut like an Egyptian curse and you don't need to wrap the gifts that are inside. Tip number two; be economical with the selotape whether it be on a gift bag or wrapped present. And tip number 3; more expensive thicker wrapping paper is very nice but very hard to rip open (yes I know you should unfold it neatly) but ripping is easier on our more weak muscles. So cheap wrapping paper is much better for us. Hopefully it hasn't ripped too much in the wrapping and delivering process.

I recieved some lovely gifts. Very thoughtful things that are much needed like new pyjamas, new slippers, dressing gown ( IT'S SO FLUFFY!) and books. A spa voucher, which I'm thinking maybe to treat myself to an Indian head massage and facial. I do enjoy back, neck and shoulder massages but it can be touch and go with the Fibromyalgia whether it does more harm than good. Lying on a heated surface in the sauna and steam rooms should really help though and hopefully I'll be able to manage a jacuzzi. My most touching gifts, other than the personalised bracelet, was the two spoon necklaces I got (see photos). They will remind me to use my spoons wisely and on the people that deserve them. That it's not wrong to put myself first. Or to waste spoons on matters beyond me or people that do not deserve to occupy too much head space. I also feel that in giving me these spoons it's a symbol of the support and understanding they give me. That they are willing to use their spoons to help me where they can so I don't have to suffer as much. Oh wow this is emotional. Are you crying Mother dearest?

Afterwards I was really struggling. I actually fell asleep. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately it was during a conversation with my cousin and Nanna. I've heard most of it before so I don't think I missed much. My parents tried to get me up to bed with me looking like a drunk being escorted from a nightclub. Getting up the stairs was interesting. I fell asleep and started to slide down. Waking up because of the pain of my parents trying to keep me upright.

So was it worth it? Of course it was. The escapeism of normal life is refreshing. It's good to be included and to join in where you can. Otherwise morale can really suffer and as I have said time and time again I am so conscious of not getting my self into a severe state of depression again. It truly scares me. These moments to spend with family and friends are so important and keep us strong. I couldn't cope without them. I only wish that we didn't have to suffer for it, just for trying to get some normality and fun. It's one of the most unjust things about chronic illness.

So to all sufferers I hope you are resting and regaining some strength. Talk to one another. We can help each other through. But I also hope you feel it was worth it. That you made some lovely memories and had a good time. And for all non spoonies I hope you had a great Christmas too.