Monday Morning

photo source: Pinterest

  

Erm, I would love to! Seriously.

A lot of people tonight will utter one or more of the following phrases:

"Where did the weekend go?"

"Why do Mondays come around so fast?"

"Back to reality tomorrow"

Followed of course by one of the following statements when they get up the following morning:

"I hate Mondays"

"Monday is the worst day of the week"

Etc, etc, etc you know the kind. Just scroll through your timelines on Facebook or Twitter to see more.

But to all of you lamenting that the weekend is over; that you have to go back to work; facing another 5 days of early starts and commutes. That you had a fantastic weekend spending time with family and friends and now it's back to reality. Or lamenting that once again you didn't win the lottery and no longer need to work as you will be in a different country every week. To all of you, I say I would gladly swap with you. 

I would happily wake up early, even on the cold winter mornings when the car needs to be de-iced and go to work. Then spend 8 hours sat at a desk, staring at a computer screen. Staring out of the window on hot days wishing I was really sat in a beer garden. The office bitching, the person that has stolen your dairylea triangle that you wanted for your lunch. There being no spoons in the office kitchen for you to stir your tea so you end up using a fork or a pen. I would very happily be looking forward to facing that tomorrow. 

 

photo source: Pinterest

And one day I hope I might make that a reality. Maybe not necessarily working in an office but out there working. Earning my own money. Money that could give me back some independence. To drive again too, will just be fantastic. To go where I want, when I want. To pull up at work and say "come on then what is today going to bring?" and leave thinking "I achieved something today." I am tired because I have done a days work. Importantly I think a big factor will be just being more social everyday. To be around people of a similar age. To enjoy work banter. To enjoy company. 

Bring it all on. Yes, I absolutely wish I was going to work tomorrow. I envy all of you that are. I know that I perhaps will not work in stage management again, but you never know. I do know that I will enjoy work, of course moan on occasion, but I won't work myself into the ground either. It will be 'work to live', which is a complete flip around from my previous beliefs. But in all honesty I would absolutely love to just have that normality and I would be extremely grateful for it. I would love to not feel completely knackered just waking up and having breakfast. That that morning routine just becomes a process that actually doesn't require much thought and then off out the door I go. And the tired I feel when I got home afterwards was a 'good' tired; a 'you've done a full days work' tired. To wear proper clothes everyday and not just stare at them, hanging in your wardrobe only coming out on special occasions.

 

Why? Because right now, things are far from normal. Weekdays and weekends don't even have a difference, because each day is another day of fighting. Of suffering. Of getting little respite from your symptoms. Of asking for help over and over each day. From help me sit up to can you feed me. Being so helpless some days. So very far from the career I was forging and helping others more than myself. And it all changed so very quickly. Life can change in an instance. 

 

So I dream of all the things most people are tonight moaning about. I want what you have. So you may not think you are lucky and that things are unfair but you are the envy of so many. You can earn your own living and not have to spend most of it on medication. You have freedom. You have company and social interaction, that's away from a phone or computer screen. You can make plans for the weekend and know that you can keep and enjoy them. Most of all you have your health. Health honestly is wealth. So many take it for granted. I know I did. But never again. Good health will take you places. So treat yourselves well and be grateful that you have it. Good health is something that is often under rated, something you don't really fully appreciate it until you fall ill. And no one thinks that will happen to them.

I don't mean to sound maudlin here, nor am I saying you should live your life constantly looking over your shoulder. I simply mean, enjoy life, make the most of having good health and if you want to and are able to make changes then do so for the good of your happiness. But also appreciate that all the things that you consider normal, even the dreaded Monday morning alarm are things that many others would love to be their normal. Instead of day upon day of emptiness at the mercy of your symptoms. We're not lucky to be at home or in bed everyday, you may think we are, but it soon wears thin. I wish I could swap with you, I really do. But on the other hand I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

So tonight as you go to bed try and think of the positives rather than the doom and gloom thoughts about the dreaded Monday morning and maybe think twice about those statuses.

Sian